Toon Tuesday: Big Ted the Larmac Saloon Bum (Rifts)

Ah, Larmac, the “lazy lizards”! I do so love the reptilian races. Anyway, I’ve swapped out the O.C.C. skills Dance and Sing for Gambling and Gambling: Dirty Tricks as the skills make more sense that way, also, the text has a mistake, offering Dance twice in two lines. This is subject to DM approval, obviously, and if not allowed, it will be Dance +20% and Sing +10%. Enjoy this unmotivated lump!

Game: Palladium Books’ Rifts RPG
Books Needed: Rifts Ultimate Edition, Rifts World Book 30: D-Bees of North America, and Rifts World Book 14: New West.
Recommended Setting: New West will provide the best use for his talents, but he could really be a part of any average adventuring group or gang (evil or good, provided he has a reason to stay) and can travel through extreme environments with ease.


'Yeah, so I got 'im held up by 'is shirt an- what the grack?! You spilled my beer! You're gonna pay for that with yer teeth!' - Big Ted

General Information
Nickname: Big Ted
Exp. Level: One
Experience Table: Saloon Bum
R.C.C.: Larmac
O.C.C.: Saloon Bum
Alignment: Anarchist
Invoke Trust/Intimidate: Not applicable.
Charm/Impress: Not applicable.
Health Points: 24 (+1D6/lvl)
S.D.C.: Not applicable.
M.D.C.: 53 (+2D4/lvl)
P.P.E.: 3 (Permanent.)
I.S.P.: Not applicable.
Chi: Not applicable.
Horror Factor: 12, unless Larmacs are known to them.

IQ: 8
ME: 9
MA: 10
PS: 35 (Equivalent to Robot Strength, Lift/Carry: 1750/875 lbs)
PP: 13
PE: 24
PB: 5 (By human standards.)
SPD: 11 (Run: 7.5 mph)

Hand to Hand: Expert
Attacks: 5
+Damage: 20
+Strike: None
+Dodge: 2
+Parry: 2
+Roll: 5
+Restrain Punch: 2
+Disarm: None
+Entangle: None
+Initiative: None
+Perception: None

Restrained Punch 1D4 M.D,
Fist Punch 2D4 M.D.
Power Punch 4D4 M.D. (counts as 2 attacks)
Backhand 1D6 M.D.
Elbow 1D8 M.D.
Kick 2D8 M.D.
Power Kick 4D8 M.D. (counts as 2 attacks)
Knee 1D8 M.D.

Racial Natural Abilities
Night Vision Range: 300ft. Can see as clearly at night as they do during the day.

Enhanced Healing Recovers M.D.C. at a rate of 2D6+3 per day.

Natural Reserves and Alertness Though Larmac have a voracious appetite and consume mass amounts of food any chance they get, they can actually stand 7 days without eating before beginning to feel the effects, and 4 days without water before feeling the effects of dehydration. Can also stay alert and awake for over 72 hours before starting to feel side effects of sleep deprivation, though Larmac enjoy their sleep and a lot of it.

Thick, Blubbery Hide Larmac’s thick skin enables them to trek across scorching deserts during the day without suffering from heat exhaustion or dehydration. Their layer of blubber also insulates them in harsh cold environments, letting them withstand up to 40 degrees below freezing (Fahrenheit); they could run around buck naked in the arctic and not feel any ill effects, not that anyone would want to see that.

Self Preservation If in combat and the outlook is grim or they are injured, they may be motivated to save their own life and get the following temporary bonuses; +1 attack/melee and +1 to initiative, parry, and dodge.

Occupational Natural Abilities
Horsemanship: General Knows basic riding skill as well as general care of a horse, is not trained for combat. Combat Bonuses: +1 parry/dodge, +1D4 S.D. from attacks from melee weapons or kicks, a charge attack with polearm/spear +1D6 S.D./M.D. (depending upon the weapon damage, rider must roll successfully under the second percentile to prevent being knocked from horseback upon impact, counts as 2 melees), and horse attack is possible with no bonuses. All bonuses are in addition to applicable combat bonuses and only apply to the rider while on horseback, not the horse.

Knowledgeable Patron They frequent saloons, clubs, dance halls, casinos, and bars so often that they have developed a natural ability for spotting and recognizing outsiders, gunslingers, gunfighters, knights, lawmen, undercover agents, and professional gamblers with ease, even if drunk. Base Skill: 40% +4%/lvl

Drink Others Under the Table The average character starts to feel the effects of alcohol after 3 drinks and is very drunk after 6, especially if the drinks were consumed within 2 hours (the typical bottle of alcohol contains 16-20 shots/ounces.) The effects of alcohol impair the character’s sense of balance, motor skills, and general perception. A Saloon Bum can drink 2.5x as much as the average character before feeling the same effects and penalties (see image below for specific amounts/penalties.)


+Save Vs.
+Coma/Death: 18%
+Disease: 6
+Insanity: None
+Poison/Toxins: 11
+Magic: 5
+Ritual Magic: 5
+Psionics: None
+Harmful Drugs: 6
+Possession: None
+Pain: None
+Horror Factor: 5 (+1 at levels 3, 7, and 12.)
+Fatigue: None
+Illusion: -3
+Curses: None
+Mind Control: None

R.C.C. Skills:
Cook 55% +5%/lvl
Land Navigation 56% +4%/lvl
Wilderness Survival 50% +5%/lvl

R.C.C. Related Skills:
Not applicable.

O.C.C. Skills:
Language: Native: American 98% (maximum)
Language: Other: Spanish 70% +3%/lvl
Mathematics: Basic 65% +5%/lvl
Radio: Basic 60% +5%/lvl
Surveillance Systems 40% +5%/lvl
Interrogation 45% +5%/lvl
Horsemanship: General 45%/25% +4%/lvl (See Occupational Abilities.)
Gambling 45% +5%/lvl
Gambling: Dirty Tricks 30% +4%/lvl
Streetwise 40% +4%/lvl

O.C.C. Related Skills: (+1 skill at levels 3, 6, 9, and 12.)
Brewing 35%/40% +5%/lvl
I.D. Undercover Agents 40% +4%/lvl
Cardsharp 49% +4%/lvl
Palming 24% +5%/lvl

Secondary Skills: (+2 skills at levels 3, 6, 10, and 15.)
Body Building and Weight Lifting
Whittling and Sculpting 30% +5%/lvl

Weapon Proficiencies
Shotgun (+1 strike 1, 3, 6, 10, 14.)
Blunt (+1 strike/parry 1, 3, 6, 9, 12. +1 strike when thrown 5, 10, 15, not designed for throwing.)
Energy Rifle (+1 strike 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, 11, 13.)
Energy Pistol (+1 strike 2, 4, 6, 8, 10, 12, 14.)

Survival Knife1D6. Kept in belt.

Vibro-Blade 1D6 M.D. Kept in belt.

Wilk’s 320 LASER Pistol Damage: 1D6 M.D. Range: 1000ft. Payload: 20 individual shots. Bonus: +2 to strike using aimed shot due to the lightweight nature and superior balance of the gun. x2 extra e-clip. Kept in holster.

Wilk’s 447 LASER Rifle (x2 extra e-clips) Damage: 3D6 M.D.. Range: 2000ft. Payload: 20 per e-clip, cannot use long e-clip. Strapped to back if traveling, otherwise in apartment,

Huntsman Main Body: 40 M.D.C., Head: 32 M.D.C., Arms: 15 M.D.C. each, Legs: 21 M.D.C. each. -10% to movement. Pieced together, stained by blood, dirt, and sweat in some spots, along with a couple of bullet holes.

Vehicles/Riding Animals
Not applicable, he sold his horse to pay off a gambling debt.

Gear (All located in backpack unless stated otherwise.)
Clothing Set x2 (x1 worn, x1 extra)
Work Boots (worn)
Cowboy Hat (worn)
Moonshine x3 (homemade, decent quality, bottled)
Bourbon (excellent quality, bottled)
Utility Belt
Sleeping Bag
Universal Language Translator

Salary 75 credits per week, plus 10-15 free drinks a night, room and board, and bonuses of 50-300 credits for juicy information.
Credits 1500
Black Market Items 600 credits worth.
Other Currency Not applicable.

Not applicable.

Not applicable.

Not applicable.

Not applicable.

Power Armour
Not applicable.

Personal Information
True Name: Teddy Lockjaw
Gender: Male
Occupation: Bouncer
Age: 52
Lifespan: 113
Height: 6’10”
Weight: 534 lbs (overweight)
Description: Tan, scaled skin, orange eyes, thick, dark, wiry hair on his chest, arms, and chin, his horns are naturally short and blunt. Typically wearing armour or traveling clothes which are sweat or blood stained and not cleaned often and a well worn cowboy hat. He is overweight and has a large beer gut due to his general inactivity and alcoholism, but it just adds to his size and doesn’t inhibit his strength so he doesn’t mind much (but he will get physical with anyone who pokes fun at him for it for too long.)
Insanity(s): Addiction: Alcohol (Personality While Intoxicated Table, Staggering Drunk Penalties, and Withdrawal Symptoms indicated in pages 338-339 of RUE.)
Sentiments Toward Coalition State: Afraid of their power and xenophobic, genocidal cause, though he puts on airs like he would spit at a soldier if he saw one (he would actually hide.)
Sentiments Toward D-Bees: Indifference so long as they aren’t threatening his position or challenging him, if there’s a larger D-Bee around he gets aggressive and nasty, trying to bluff them out of town or buy their allegiance.
Sentiments Toward Humans: Indifference, but respects their resourcefulness (that is, the resources they may have) and readily sucks up to those in charge.
Mutations: Not applicable.

Low Physical Beauty Face is so scarred, deformed, frightening or ugly by Human standards that the character suffers penalties of -5% to skills like Gambling, Intelligence Gathering, Performance, Public Speaking, and Undercover Ops, -20% to the Seduction skill, and a +5% bonus to the Intimidate skill. Any penalties are included in the total percentage in the skills sections.

Background: Born to former soldiers of the Tolkeen War, after their defeat, his parents settled out West to enjoy the deserts at the edge of the Barrier Wall, beyond the reach of the Coalition, biding their time to rise again and join a resistance force. They stayed together, despite the wandering habit of males of their race, and had two litters of children; Teddy was born the youngest and smallest of all 7, and probably developed a bit of a complex about having to be the biggest and baddest around because of it. His parents tried to instill the same level of responsibility and self motivation in their son that they had grown accustomed to, especially with their new involvement with resistance groups, but even as several of his older siblings were motivated to do so, Ted firmly decided that it was his parents war, not his, and he was better off keeping his scales out of it. He moved at 17, and found the nearest town to squat in just waiting to hit paydirt on a scheme, plan, or any kind of job that would let him live on easy street rather than end up like his hard working (for Larmac) parents. He found work for a bar as bouncer, finding that his race and general size was rather rare in this tumbleweed country, and lives in a run down and downright messy apartment above the establishment where he brews his own alcohol for when the boss man cuts him off. Occasionally he busts troublemakers he overhears to the local law enforcement for a decent pile of credits or to be revered as a hero and get a nice flow of free booze, but sometimes he offers his muscle to the cause (loan sharks, petty theft, insurance fraud, etc.), looking for a quick and easy paycheck just for showing off and tossing his weight around.
Family Tree: Mama and Papa Lockjaw still live near the Barrier Wall, Pa drives delivery trucks and informs resistance forces of the steadily encroaching CS presence, and Ma makes ammunition and armour stockpiles for the cause. He has 6 older siblings (4 Sisters and 2 Brothers) half of them are involved in the rebellion efforts of their parents, and the other half went into law enforcement, or in one of his Sisters’ case, the outlaw lifestyle (parents don’t talk about her often.) He’s not in regular contact with any of them and he likes it that way, though his Father does drive in for a parts delivery once a year or so. He used to have a live in boyfriend, but the alcoholism and Ted’s bad attitude pushed him away eventually, and Ted can’t be bothered to put the effort forth for romance.

Happy Gaming,

Any image or information provided pertaining to Rifts is the sole property of Palladium Books and any artists therein. I claim no ownership of content.

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