Category Archives: Role Playing Inspired

Tabletop Haiku

So, I’ve always enjoyed poety. In my angst-ridden, teenage past, it was pretty much all I did before I was introduced to role playing. There was even a writing contest when I was in college; I tried to write a lengthy poem about a clumsy adventuring group told from the point of view of their harried Bard healer. I didn’t finish it, unfortunately, but there have been a few (horrible and possibly a little tipsy) instances where I’ve scribbled out a rhyme at the gaming table. And why not? Role playing is incredibly inspiring!

So, just for fun, here are a few absolutely gods-awful haiku, inspired by many different role playing games. For those who don’t remember 7th grade English, haiku are composed of 5 syllables in the first line, 7 in the second, and 5 in the third.

EXP Bonus
Natural twenty
My battleaxe roars through flesh
I’ll loot you later

Well, You Said Anything…
Character write ups
So many dice to choose from
Yup, another Bard

Ode to My DM
Flipping through pages
Now where was that new rail gun?
My players hate me

Another Fine Day in the Multiverse
Dog-Boys on my left
Spiderwalkers on my right
Lets roast some casters

Bring This Poster and Waive the Application Fee
Want a bright future?
Do change and monsters scare you?
CS sign ups now!

Another One Bites the Dust
What, are you kidding?
My dice roll hit my notebook
I worked hard on that

How Do You Spell “Diabolical”?
Assassin again?
That’s five different characters
Try a Paladin

Your Name is Not Seymore Butts
It’s really not hard
Just pick a damn backstory
That’s it, you’re a slave

Poor, Deluded PCs
Who needs a healer?
We’ve all got the first aid skill
What do you mean, “crit”?

Power Attacks Cost 2 Melee Actions
I load my pistol
“Cool, but you’re out of ammo”
I throw my pistol

My Plea to Kevin
Spending all damn night
Doing math and rolling dice
No generators

Happy Haiku-ing,
TheDungeonRat

I do not own any referenced or inspiring materials. The haiku in this post are my own, however.

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(ENDED/UPDATED) Giveaway: AGFPRO+Battlemat DLC (Digital, Minature RPG Creation)

EDIT 12/16/2014: I have sent out all of the notification emails to the winners! Watch out for the subject “You won in my AGFPRO+Battlemat giveaway!” Be sure to check your spam box just in case! AGF has surprised me with a surplus of keys, so everyone will recieve one key! If you still have not received an email notification, contact me at acdittmar@gmail.com and we’ll get it sorted out! Congratulations to those everyone, thank you to all who participated, and keep an eye out for future giveaways on my blog! :)

I have teamed up with the amazing Axis Game Factory to help celebrate their newly released Zombie FPS and Fantasy Side Scroller DLC products with a fantastic chance to win the AGFPRO program and their Battlemat minatures battle system DLC!

I’m always happy to see more opportunities for online tabletop gaming, and this one really catches my attention as a Dungeon Master. Please note that this is not a review of the program or DLC, just a quick rundown and a free giveaway for you to enioy!

What is AGFPRO?
AGFPRO is a comprehensive toolset program specifically designed to provide even casual users with a program that can create games with unique environments and multiple level support and options for game development. Though originally designed to run in concert with the free or professional versions of Unity 4, it does not require the Unity 4 program to play and is fully functional as a stand alone creation system.

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AGFPRO also has two available versions: Basic and Premium. Both packages include the world editing, construction, and gameplay tools necessary to make and play a basic game model and both versions offer full support for any of the downloadable content packages; the Premium also includes Unity 4 conversion and support, use of hundreds of AGF sourced artwork, and the new ability to import/export hieghtmaps (any .png file can become a terrain!) Both packages (and the downloadable content) also run efficiently on Windows, Mac, or Linux.
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RPG a Day: A Whole Month’s Worth of Gaming!

A bit late to post, but a similar family emergency as detailed here has cropped up. While we are all shaken, we persevere and make the necessary changes to our life as needed. I will not be putting my weekly posts on hiatus as I dearly need this hobby of mine for stress relief, but I cannot cast aside any chance of troubles meeting my schedule in the future. Things happen, and while we are making every preventative effort we can, more may yet happen.

That being said, this was a delight to take part in and to share and relive my personal gaming stories. Much is copied from my personal posts on Google Plus, which you can still find on my profile, but there is much that was lost or not included that I stuffed in here! I hope you enjoy and find yourself reminiscing upon your own gaming (mis)adventures!

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One: First RPG Played
That would be Rifts by Palladium Books, and I was 17. My Dad was the DM, he had just gotten honorably discharged from the US Navy and he was looking to spend some time reconnecting with me, so he dug out his old copies and we spent about 4 hours going through character creation! My fiancĂ© (now my Husband) was there, too, and while he had played Dungeons and Dragons throughout school, he’d never heard of Rifts and got sucked into it, too. I played a Freeborn Dog-Boy (played in the style of an Operator O.C.C. who specializes in mechanics), and my fiancĂ© played a human Wilderness Scout.

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The campaign stretched on for a few weeks through nightly sessions, we’d gotten to level 14 or so, until finally Dad devised a player killer ending. We were up against an army of Coalition skelebots, tanks, towers, deathhead transports, SAMAS suits; it was very much meant to end the campaign. While my fiance and the rest of the party were taking down a good amount of baddies with some well timed explosions and great shots, I climbed up a tower with my gigantic wrench, taking pieces off as I went along, until I finally reached the point where I could hack into the terminals. Dad is the type of DM who operates on the belief that anything is possible, even if it’s incredibly unlikely (I got this DM style from him.) I had to succeed at two separate pencentile rolls (with a maxed out skill) and roll really well for both of them.

I somehow managed to do it. Then I used the tower to destroy the other defenses and take out droves of baddies, paving the way for a surprise success with my other powerful party members. Dad ended the campaign there because he was not only sick of the campaign itself, but also because he didn’t want to figure out experience. We went out and ordered a book from our local game store within the week and we’ve been playing ever since.
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